Thursday, December 08, 2005

Is this Karma?

I know I haven't been the nicest of people lately. For example, the other night on the train, I was utterly exhausted and a man who was wearing a knit hat shaped like a chicken head got on. It made me snicker and I quickly looked around hoping to catch other people's reactions. I started to entertain myself with the idea that someone might see it and suddenly get the urge to beat the guy up. (Seriously, I had nothing against the man or his hat, but you really gotta have balls to be in your 30's and wearing a hat like that and/or expect to be mocked by someone). A couple of stops later another man got on the train and he looked about the same age and he was muttering to himself. I really wanted him to see the guy with the chicken hat and go start something. For anyone who doesn't know me, please understand that my imagination is completely animated, seriously. (Often times porky pig shows up at the end of my imagined scenarios and says "Be-de-be-de-be, That's All Folks"). I would never actually want to see people fight, but for some reason everyone I saw on the train that night felt animated. Anyway, I felt a little bad about my urges. And lately I have just been all around snarky.

Well, I have also been having troubles with my apartment manager, mostly mid-last week. I was going to call her boss to complain, but the number she gave me was disconnected. I asked for the real number and she gave me the fax number. I do have the real real (pha rell rell--not pha plah plah) number now but I gave up on it. Over the weekend fate served her well enough. I came home late one night to find the main door to my building was shattered, hence the security of our secure entrance was not so secure, the passenger elevator was broken down and as I passed the laundry room to the back elevator I noticed a sign on the door that said, "Do not open this door, there is a large bird in the ceiling." So, I assume she had do deal with some havoc. And none of these things really bothered me at all. (And no, my building is not normally like that, it's a really nice place to live. I have no idea why all that happened at once).

I have been totally on guard with the woman because ever since she started working here she has been after my apartment and after a few problems with the laundry facillities and package delivery I was beginning to wonder whether she was looking for ways to get me thrown out.

I know she has nothing to do with this, but today, I ran downstairs to throw out some trash and only locked the dead bolt. When I came back up to my apt my key would not turn and I could not get it back out of the keyhole. I freaked. I was supposed to get down to school for conferences with my students. Luckily, I had passed the main building maintenance dude, who is a saint, when throwing out the trash. (at least in asking him directly to help me out I wouldn't have to deal with the manager). So he said he would be up when he finished unloading some stuff on a truck--a couple minutes. No prob. I came back up, tried the lock a few more times, finally got it turned far enough I could at least open the door, but the key was still stuck. Just as the guy came down the hall I had gotten the key loose. He came and investigated and is currently fixing the lock. Blar.

I tried out being ms mean jeans but apparently it's not for me. This kind of crap always happens, really, there's always something about to break, right? Just the fact that so many things happen at once combined with the difficulty of keeping a positive attitude lately has been really dragging me down. So, I will go back to being the sweet, happy, helpful girl I once was, hoping to one day solve all of the world's problems with ponies and mandatory naptime.

be-de-be-de-be, That's All Folks.


Blogger Aaron said...

Yeah, I just don't think being mean is you, you pull off cranky pretty good now and then, but not mean.

Mandatory naptime, I like that. Can you make sure Elsa gets that memo?

December 08, 2005  
Blogger Amanda said...

I can't promise anything with Elsa on the napping. If she is anything like me, napping might be hard. As much as I rally for napping, I've never been a napper (hell I'm barely a sleeper, and perhaps it is the difficulty of sleep for me which makes the concept of napping seem so appealing).

I do pull off cranky pretty well, I admit, especially when I don't have much alone time--which makes for greater crankiness at family gatherings.

I am pretty much all-around an anxious person. I seem laid back to many because I am quiet and reserved, but those who know me are quick to point out how stressed I get about every little thing. Not too long ago you made a comment to me about how uptight I was in high school and I realized that I haven't changed much at all. I think I was more laid back for a time, between college and coming here to grad school. Maybe it's school. Perhaps it is the worst thing in the world for me. But I think I kind of thrive on stress. While I am constantly stressed out right now, I am also very fulfilled.

Now I feel really bad for my only two friends here in Chicago, they put up with all my stress and crap. Poor Sean and John, they deserve ponies to make up for all my negativeness. Where does all this guilt come from? (I feel like I should be on a couch, is there a therapist in the house?)

Anyway, Elsa's pony is on its way. I hope there aren't any major laws in Minneapolis about keeping ponies. If one can't sleep one should at least have a pony to make them happy.

love, Amanda
the original mopey pony

p.s. if only "Yes, Dear" were on so I could fall asleep.

December 09, 2005  

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