Where are Elvis & JFK when you need them?

I gotta pee real bad, but I can't bring myself to go here at work. I normally have no issues with public restrooms--I am not freaked out by going next to others (Hell, I'll poop my little heart out in a full restroom if I gotta) and I'm not a germaphobe--if I can't see it, it ain't there. But I do have my limits. I have been noticing tons of giant cockroaches here on the fourth floor of the Congress Building, and they are freaking me out. Yesterday right after I sat down to do my buisness I saw one in the corner of the stall with antenae at least 3 inches long(no exaggeration)I was so grossed out. I was afraid to make any sudden movements and I expected it to fly up in my face as soon as I flushed. I dropped a piece of toilet paper on top of it before stepping on it (normally I am not squeamish about crushing insects, but I could not handle that amount of nastiness on the bottom of my shoe for the rest of the day). He was a slow mover, but scuttled out of the stall before I could totally crush him which is really scary because I did hear a substantial amount of crunching. I expected to exit the stall to come face to face with a cowboy mummy. If only I had a paint can full of gasoline and a pack of matches. All I have left to say is ICK!!!